i never knew what i meant to you歌詞

Dear old friend
How has everything been
Do you still have the memories from back then
Or has time took them from your head
Why do people leave
Actually why do i seek relief
In people who only mistreated me
Love the sense of dependence and needing me
I’d give the ones that i love all the blood in my body
But never be seen as enough
I used to kick with my clique never trip
About a ***** shoving smoke in my lungs
Now they just copy me putting out music
Instead of pursuing the **** that they love
They haven't seen all the sleepless nights
I would stay up or the times i would write as i’d cut
I still have notebooks with pages and pages
Of verses soaked all in my blood
Conversations ii had with myself when no one felt like giving a ****
Contemplations i had of just giving everything up
One night i grabbed all my razors
And sat there in silence while holding a gun
Thinking it won’t be so silent when everyone hears what i’ve done
Squeezed the trigger as hard as i could but the bullet was stuck
Etched 20 lines in my skin fell asleep and left life up to luck
I’m not scared of the dark anymore i’m in love with it
Spent so much time in it i became one with it
I don’t ever wanna see the sun again
All i want is to be ****ing dead
Leave me roses and violets inside of my coffin
A knife and an upsidedown cross with
Blood dripping off it
An ounce n some vodka
Make sure theres a moshpit
Make sure my mom is
In the middle getting stomped quick
Forall the times she left me n my brother unconscious
High on drugs coming off it
How has everything been
Do you still have the memories from back then
Or has time took them from your head