The Spicy McHaggis Jig歌詞

I'll tell you a story,
believe me it's true
A tale you'd best hope
never happens to you
old spicy mcHaggis
How he met his fate
you I can save,but
for him it's too late!
Spicy was big,
burly and strong
his pipes were gigantic
And so was his s*****g
from city to city
running around
always looking for chicks
over four hundred pounds!
One night at the pub
a girl caught his eye
big as a house
Just the right size
the broad was enormous
Stacked to the hilt
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
The piper delivered his best pick-up line
thought to himself
"This beast is all mine"
the portly young lady could stand for no more
Grabbed his cojones and went for the door
They got to her house
and dimmed all the lights
Spicy was in for one hell of a night
he said that he loved her,
He'd always be true "
But
Mr. Mchaggis,
I've only just met you!!"
By now he saw double
through his drunken eyes
Neither had looks or appropriate size
he came to his sense
Thought to himself
"At this time of night I won't find nothing else"
he took off his shirt
She lifted her skirt,
they pulled out his unit
and stared to play
she asked for a glove
He gave her a shove
had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
Spicy!
One night at the pub
a girl caught his eye
big as a house
Just the right size
the broad was enormous
Stacked to the hilt
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
The piper delivered his best pick-up line
thought to himself
"This beast is all mine"
the portly young lady could stand for no more
Grabbed his cojones and went for the door
Three packs a day
he'll smoke 'til he dies
Spicy McHaggis
one hell of a guy!
I don't know what you all are talking about...and who drank all my beer!?