The Grudge歌詞

Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I've
held this grudge
Eleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I've expended
Not in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you've been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every record
But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach?
I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us
Like an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
will I simply re-live it
somehow gratuitous
But who's still aching now?
Who's