PERCEPTION CHECK歌詞

作曲 : Tom Cardy
On the horizon of this forest path you see a group of dark cloaked figures
Slowly trudging towards you, what do you do?
My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and-
That’s a 1
Critical fail, Steve what do you do?
Well I believe in anticipation my rogue would try and hide behind a tree
ok I rolled a 1
That’s another critical fail, Tom what does your human bard do?
Active Perception Check
(roll)
That’s a natural 20
Let’s f**king go
(flute)
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
These muthafvckas mean to harm us
And they got to go
So come on, get’em now
You picked the wrong day
To f**k around with my
TIGHT CREW
There’s no escaping it
I can perceive you
Here’s what we’re gonna do
(flute)
Me and my boys gonna mess you up
I rolled a 1
I rolled a 1
F**K
My boys are other wise engaged
So i’m gonna bring it all myself
Hey
I forgot, you’re suppose to tell me what I see, right?
Yes, thank you let’s just slow it all down a bit
So you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter
I cast
VICIOUS MOCKERY
Nat 20 Let’s go
You’re a short muthafvcka and nobody likes you
(flute)
SHORT!
Everybody says “Look how f**king short that guy is”
And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships
When you were born everybody thought that you were just a head
But the the doctor said
wait
This stupid muthafvcking tiny short ass baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I
HATE IT
Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure, perception check, please
Nat 20 Let’s go
You perceive the figure was so short because it was a
CHILD
It’s always a kid
Specifically the child you’ve been looking for for the last
15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives
ok i’m sorry, i didn’t know, i’ll be better
His body’s just lying there right?
right？
yes
don’t
Loot That Body
gonna loot that body now
LOOT THAT BODY
gotta loot that mutha7ka
Play my flue when I loot that dead kid’s body
(flute)
B1T