I Will Get a Vasectomy歌詞

I just wanna show my appreciation to how much I love kids
And teens between the ages of twelve and seventeen
Why, are kids so ******* stupid?
Did their parents not beat them hard enough-enough-enough?
I try
To empathize with teens
Because when I was younger
I was stupid too-too-too
(It's true)
But then I realized
That I was never this stupid
My friends were never this stupid
Y'all are just dense-dense-dense
Like damn
I'm really, really concerned
I wish your father would use that
Wooden spoon-spoon-spoon
(Just ******* beat them already)
I was being ironic man
What a ******* loser.
Do you have-
Listen kids
Being edgy is okay
But the same ten jokes in a row
That's not okay-okay-okay
Like damn
Is that all you can come up with?
If you're gonna be racist at least be original, please
(Yeah, we're dead serious)
If you're under seventeen
Please don't ever talk to me
You think this is part of the act
But please don't come near me
Dude, get a load of this guy!
He-he-he's never heard of irony before!
What-what a ******* loser dude!
Jimmy it's past your bedtime
Dad no
Get back to bed
I was just being ironic
I don't care
No dad please
You're being a piece of *******t
Take these spanks you little *******
Daddy please, daddy please
Who do you think you are?
Who the ******* do you think you are?
Talking to people on the internet like you're some piece of *******t
Calling irony
Take these ******* spanks you dumbass kid.
I should've never given birth to you, you piece of *******t.
Take that, I'm out of here
******* you, son
If I should even call you son
Daddy, have you ever heard of irony before?
I was just kidding
That crying was ironic
I wasn't actually crying
What the ******* did you just say?
You want me to come back here? Huh?
No-nothing daddy, nothing
That's what I ******* thought
Go back to bed, it's 9PM