selfish (i wished you hated me)歌詞

drown me in despair
i’m broken
way beyond repair
from sulking
over the times that we’d never get back
drunk every night with a cigarette pack
but it’s only fair
that i’m broken
way beyond repair
i know that
it’s all my fault, i’m guilty as charged
i’d end it all but that’s not what you want
so it’s hard to bear
cuz i know you still care
but i wished you hated me
as much as you tried to
but you’d never hate
me as much as i do
and my only fear for
when i’m no longer here
is that you’ll find someone else
who’ll deserve all your tears
and i know that sounds selfish
but i just can’t help it
been well prepared
to go now
i’ll be somewhere
you know how
i tend to leave all the ones that i love
just to pretend like i won’t give a ****
to see what we built
become a ghost town
swallowed by guilt, like my pills
i’ve broken down
every night, i go through withdrawals
but it’s only right for all of my wrongs
it’d be easier to bear
if you never cared
i wished you hated me
as much as you tried to
but you’d never hate
me as much as i do
and my only fear for
when i’m no longer here
is that you’ll find someone else
who deserve all your tears
and i know that sounds selfish
but i just can’t help it