Mother I Sober歌詞

作詞 : Craig Balmoris
作曲 : Craig Balmoris
I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
One man standin' on 2 words, heal everybody
Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
Pacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blur
Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
I still feel weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
In the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only critic
Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taken shape
My mothers mother followed me for years in her afterlife
Starin' at me on back of some buses
I wake up at night, loved her dearly
Traded in my tears for a Range Rover
Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
I wish I was somebody
Anybody but myself
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Anybody but myself
I remember lookin' in the mirror knowin' I was gifted
Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
Family ties, they accused my cousin
"Did he touch you Kendrick?"
Never lied, but no one believed me
When I said "He didn't", frozen moments, still holdin' on it
Hard to trust myself, I started rhymin'
Copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
He has an aurora, I hope to achieve
If I find some help, congratulations, made it to be famous
Still I feel uneasy, water watchin', live my life in nature
Only thing relieves me
Spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me
"Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
Mothers brother said he got revenge for my mothers face
Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
'Til this day can't look her in the eyes pain is takin' over
Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
I wish I was somebody
Anybody but myself
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Anybody but myself
I was never high, I was never drunk, out my mind, I need control
They handed me some smoke, but still I declined, sittin' with myself
Went through all emotions, no dependents, except for the one
Let me bring you closer, intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know I found her in the kitchen
Askin' God "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes
"Is there an addiction?" I said "No", but this time I lied
I knew I can't fix pure soul, even in her pain
Know she cared for me, gave me a number
Said she recommended some therapy
I asked my momma why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympathetic
Told me she feared it happened to me, for my protection
Though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
Know I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced
Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
I was five, questioning myself, 'lone fir many years
Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
I made it home, seven years on detour, chasin' manhood
But Whitney's gone by time you hear this song, she did all she could
All these women gave me super powers, what I thought I lacked
I pray our children don't inherit me and my feelings
I attract a conversation, not bein' addressed in black families
The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
They raped our mother, then they raped our sisters
Then they made us watch, then made us rape eachother
Psychotic torture between lives we ain't recovered
Still livin' as victims in the public's eyes, who pledge allegiance
Every other brother has been compromised
I know secrets every other rapper sexually abused
I see them daily burin' the pain in chains and tattoos
So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
His ankle grows deep in misogyny
This is posttraumatic black families and a sodomy, today is still active
So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
So I set self my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
So I set fire to my cousin, khaotic for my mothers pain
I hope Hakeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vein
So I set fire the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
So I set free out children, may good karma keep them with God
So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation