what i fail to understand歌詞

Bury Your Dead - Broken Body
LRC by lzh ,from jiangxi pingxiang
@ @
I've got a sickness
A doctor and all of his knowledge could never cure
I'm so sick and tired of feeling worthless
Like I don't exist
Keep my head up high
Try to live my life
That no one notices
All of my years
Being left alone
Made me what I am
Wounded by the ones I love
Back against the wall
I'm an animal trapped in hell
This is real pain
These are real tears
This is the world falling on me
Is this what you want?
Part of your big plan?
Wanna see me fail?
You'll never get the chance
Sorrow has become my only friend again
I know I will fail you in the end
There's no heaven
That wants me
No hell that could ever hold me in
No matter how strong I was
I could never escape
I still feel all of my sins
I remember the sun touching your face
I'm still waiting for the day
Just to hear you say
Well I've had enough
Get up and you walk away
Sorrow has become my only friend again
I know I will fail you in the end
The end
And I should blame you for running
I know you couldn't understand
You see
I don't even know myself anymore
I don't even fucking understand
This is real pain
These are real tears
This is the world falling on me
Is this what you want?
Part of your great plan?
Wanna see me fail?
You'll never have the chance
Sorrow has become my only friend again
I know I will fail you in the end
I will fail
I will fail
I will fail
I will fail